Have you recently used a psychedelic and found yourself in a difficult place?
SHORT TERM INTENSIVE BAD TRIP INTEGRATION (STIBTI)
With Sean O’Carroll
For the past 10 years I have worked with “psychedelic casualties” - people who have run into trouble using psychedelics. In most instances these experiences unfold in “underground settings” - ayahuasca circles, or working with underground therapists. People also sometimes get into difficulty in other contexts in which the experience is not well supported.
The difficulties people can experience with psychedelics range from the unsettling to the traumatic. STIBTI involves working with me in a short term intensive format (usually 6 hours over 5 sessions).
THE BROAD CATEGORIES OF BAD TRIP
While each psychedelic experience is unique, there are common experiences that that I see regularly. I divide these into the two broad categories of existential and personal themes.
EXISTENTIAL THEMES
Existential themes relate to a person’s fundamental sense of themselves or reality. They tend to be “global” or “total” in their scope. In these instances the integrity of the self – in itself - is often felt to be under threat. In my experience, nearly all severe bad trips that result in psychedelic casualties include intense existential experiences of this sort.
PERSONAL THEMES
Most bad trips also have what I call Personal themes. Personal themes relate to experiences in which the individual encounters – and feels threatened by – something else. This may include people or experiences from their own life: memories, traumas, or significant individuals, as well as less familiar things like ”monsters”, “deities”, or overwhelming feelings. In these instances the integrity of the self is intact, but is encountering something threatening or scary outside itself. Most severe bad trips that result in psychedelic trauma include personal themes of this sort.
SPECIFIC TYPES OF BAD TRIP
(You may recognize aspects of your own experience below)
EXISTENTIAL THEMES IN BAD TRIPS
The Void/Abyss/Black Hole: This is the most common and consistent element of an existential bad trip, and often arises in conjunction with other existential themes. The experience usually involves being in or near something that feels like a void, abyss or black hole. Subjects will often describe this void as having a gravitational nature, as in it “pulled me”, “sucked me down”, “drew me in”, “swallowed me”, etc.
The Fragmented Self: The subject experiences a constant sense of fear, and reports feeling like they are in danger of “going mad/insane”,“falling apart”, “losing my mind”. At a lesser intensity, the fragmented self can also show up as a disconcerting sense that: “I just don’t feel like myself anymore”.
The Porous Self/Psychophobia: The subject experiences a constant sense of fear, and reports feeling like their mind is boundaryless and porous, as though anything (thought, idea, voice, vision) may enter their consciousness at any moment, without their having any control. Sometimes this boundarylessness can also be experienced as being between the subject and other people. The subject may feel “energetically open” and highly vulnerable to other people’s “energy” or stuff”.
Unreality: The subject has a profound and lingering sense that nothing is real. Subject will often say things like life/reality seems “fake” or “like a joke”. An alternative version of this involves the sense that individual is perpetually separated from the world by a “fog”, or “veil”, or similar. These experience are closely related to “derealization” and “depersonalization”.
Isolation (Existential): The subject has a profound sense that they are fundamentally separate (cut-off) from other people. The sense of separation feels insurmountable. This is a variation of “unreality” with a relational emphasis.
The Negative (Maladaptive) Revelation: Essentially strongly held unhelpful new beliefs. This is not really its own category of existential bad trip, but rather something that often accompanies any of the existential bad trips we’ve been looking at. The subject feels that they now know something deeply, and they cannot be convinced otherwise.
PERSONAL Themes in bad trips
The Possession: Subject reports feeling like something lives inside them and is out of their control. Often accompanied by a sense of being talked to by that part, or made to feel or do things.
The Haunting: Subject reports feeling like they encountered something in their trip that persists and now “haunts” them, “follows” them, or is otherwise always there. This can take the form of something they see (like an ghost), sense, or feel (like a dark mood).
The Negative/Confusing Divine Imperative: Subject has an experience of receiving a command from a divine authority. This may be a god, goddess, or other deity, or simply a profoundly felt sense of revelation. The content usually has the form of an imperative, and a sense that to not listen to this command would be impossible, wrong, false, sinful etc. This leads to psychedelic casualty work when the instruction causes torment for the individual.
The New Disturbing Memory/Vision: Subject has the experience of recalling a disturbing memory, or witnessing an autobiographical scene. Sometimes the subject is certain of the memory and is unsure what to do now that it has been recalled. At other times the subject is not sure about the veracity or the vision. The most common type of material I have encountered of this sort is abuse/sexual abuse.
Background
The current swell of media interest in psychedelic psychotherapy, combined with the fact that it in not currently legal to offer these services in Australia, has lead to a surge in the number of people experimenting with psychedelics on their own, or seeking out others “underground” who will facilitate these experiences. Many of these people have positive experiences, but a small yet significant number come away feeling troubled - often fragmented, haunted, or confused.
If you would like undertake short-term intensive bad trip integration therapy with me, please fill out the form at the top of this page.